Reckless Abandon

It's been awhile since I've rambled on about my thoughts on here so maybe I'll do that today. The past three weeks in Pennsylvania have been a bit of a roller coaster for my brain. Some days I wonder why I am here. Some days I picture myself in front of a classroom and can't wait to watch my students learn. Some days I wonder if I'll ever use this certification. Some days I know I'm in the right place. Some days I question it. Isn't that life? Over the years I've learned that the only constant and consistent thing in life is God. When things seem uncertain and nothing makes sense and I doubt myself I know that I don't have to doubt God, even if what He's doing doesn't make sense through my eyes. Sometimes things are clear and sometimes I feel like I'm walking in a deep fog with no idea what is one mere footstep around me in any direction. It scares the heck out of me yet gives me such a sense of freedom because I know that when I'm out of control God IS in control; and that's where I want Him to be in my life. I like living recklessly abandoned for Him. It's fun. It's scary. It's thrilling. It makes this little goody-two shoes, gotta have my ducks in a row, girl feel like she's living on the edge. I'm on the edge of something great. And I don't say that in a prideful way; I say it in such a way to give God all the glory. I love that He has brought me to this tiny little farm town to learn how to teach English. I love that I have met more amazing people in this cute little place. I love that I can see God moving here just as much as I have seen Him move in other places. He is God of the universe and the One that blew my mind in Central America is the same One blowing my mind in Lebanon, Pennsylvania. He's doing things and I like that assurance.